Your name is DOLORE MARYAM-LALONDE. You live on EARTH C in a large house along with your two mothers, one of whom is regarded as a goddess. You don't like to mention this, however, because it's weird and awkward, and not in the good way.

Your hobbies and interests, though varied, do tend to stick within a theme. You enjoy ALTERNATIVE ROCK MUSIC, and can play a few different musical instruments, this being something your mother insisted upon. You also enjoy the FASHION that is ASSOCIATED WITH FANS OF THIS SORT OF MUSIC, meaning you tend to wear lots of black and eyeliner. This is mostly because it makes you look INCREDIBLY COOL, but also because you aren't particularly fond of displaying your blood colour in the way your TROLL FRIENDS are. Something about the reminder that your ancestor was an EPIC HERO OF LEGEND isn't really your thing. Sure, thousands of trolls share the same colour with none of the hangups, but they're different. They aren't direct descendants, in the way that it was on THE OLD PLANET (or so you've heard). You are.

You also have a fondness for DEAD THINGS, which your extended family is all too happy to encourage. It's among the few things you look forward to on your birthday is seeing what manner of taxidermy or otherwise preserved creature your auncles are going to get you. You have a particular affection for INSECTS AND ARACHNIDS, as you think they just look better when enbalmed.

Your trolltag is adamantGloom and you speak Dryly and Flatly.

What will you do?

>Examine posters

These bands are some of your favorites. You're lucky enough to have some old Earth music and memorabilia among your possessions, which you'd never admit you adored as much as you do. They've been gifted to you over the years from your various human family members, most of whom had at least a few on hand for instantly apparent reasons.

Your IRRITATINGLY WISE BEST FRIEND likes to use your interest in old Earth art as evidence for her claim that you display symptoms of ASD. You don't know what ASD is but you won't let that stop you from rolling your eyes at her silliness. You may be strange and unusual but it's completely unrelated.

>Examine photos

A while ago one of your several frenemies got into photography. You mainly keep these here as an ironic and passive aggressively sarcastic gesture of friendship, because if there's one thing you know, it's that no one needs to know how you're feeling at any given moment. You are an enigma and you intend to stay that way.

>Go downstairs and eat breakfast.

Ehhhhhhhh. You'll do it later. Besides, you can't help but notice that your computer has been trying to notify you this entire time.

Your slightly off-balance sleep schedule means you often miss parts of conversations with your friends.

gutsyCalculator [GC] opened new board H4PPY WR1GGL1NGD4Y DOLL13!!

gutsyCalculator [GC] opened a new memo.

GC: Soooooooooooooo
GC: Obv1ously Doll13 wont b3 4w4k3 for hours
GC: 4nyone 3lse 4round?
artyChum [AC] responded to memo.
AC: im here!!!!!!!!! X3
GC: h3y 4lg13!!
AC: hewwo sebb!!!
AC: *nuzzles you*
GC: *p4ts your h34d wh1l3 1 4djust my p1p3*
GC: 3v3ryth1ng ok4y for you?
AC: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm
AC: yeah im good lol!!!
GC: 1m not sur3 1 b3l13v3 you
AC: XP
globetrottingGuardian [GG] responded to memo.
GG: this is atrocious. please stop.
GC: >:O
GC: M1xt3r h4rl3y gr4c3s us w1th the1r pr3sc3nc3!!
GC: Hows my f4vor1t3 n1bl1ng do1ng?? >:P
GG: terribly. i shan't survive the morning.
AC: purrhaps you n33d some serious tacklepouncing?
GG: i have no need of any such thing.
GG: ignore me and go back to flirting.
GC: >:O
GC: Your3 1n 4 foul mood th1s morn1ng.
GG: am i?
GG: go on, explain what disorder this ties itself to. i know you enjoy it so.
GC: Whos fl1rt1ng now?? >:P
GC: 4nyw4y 1 dont th1nk th1s 1s p4rt1cul4rly 1nd1c4t1v3 of 4ny d1sord3r
GC: My th3ory 1s you h4d 4 f1ght w1th your moth3r
GG: oh, fuck off, why must you be so good at this?
GG: you got me. i am typing this from my room while i try and convince my various secondary responsible adults to let me visit them for the weekend.
GC: Do3s th1s 1nclud3 my d4dmom??
GG: he's at the bottom of the list, i will admit.
GC: 4wwwwwwwwwww >:[
GG: mainly because both my grand- and godfather are avalible and fine with the idea.
AC: i can come over to ur house sebb!!!
AC: if my renna will let me
GC: 1 w4s mostly jok1ng but 1 w1ll 4lw4ys h4ng out w1th you 4lg13
AC: <3
GC: <3
GG: insert retching here.
adamantGloom [AG] responded to memo.
AG: yeah thats disgusting and i never agree with this idiot
AG: get a Fucking room.
GC: >:D DOLL13!!
AG: hi.
GG: happy birthday.
AC: happy wday!
GC: H4ppy wr1ggl1ngd4y!!
AG: thanks
GG: any plans for today?
GG: i'll be staying with your uncles so i'm probably going to end up at your residence.
AG: oh
AG: cool
AG: no plans really
GC: 1 do not know how you funct1on, Doll13.
AG: the feeling is mutual.
GC: 1ts why you'r3 so 1nt3r3st1ng!!
AG: uh huh
GC: try1ng to work out wh4t go3s on 1n your skull 1s on3 of my f4vor1t3 4ct1v1t13s!!
GG: christ.
AC: *looks sad bcause thought sebb only had eyes for me*
GC: Wo4h wo4h wo4h no on3 s41d th4t!!
GC: *Touch3s th3 s1d3 of your fac3*
GC: You'r3 st1ll my b3st13. My h3ro1c s1d3k1ck.
GG: i think this situation calls for the deployment of an emoticon.
AG: an emoticon
AG: Shocking coming from You harley
GG: indeed. but this situation is serious.
GG: here it comes, prepare yourselves.
GG: XI
AG: eleven
GG: it is a face with x-ed out eyes.
GG: and it is in the process of vomiting.
AG: oh i see it now
AG: i will respond to se88astian and algi8as Incorrigable Flirting in kind
AG: XXXXI
AC: wow it got bad enough you used mlemojis XD
GC: 1 4polog1s3, but wh3n 4 young p3rson 1s 1n n33d of condol3nc3s, 1 h4v3 no cho1c3 but to 4ct.
GG: oh shut up.
GC: s4ys the j4k3 3ngl1sh w4nn4b3
GG: i beg your fucking pardon?
GG: that's really rich coming from yourself.
GC: Wh4t's th4t suppos3d to m34n?!?!
GG: oh please
GG: you want to grow up to be just like your dadmum, it's just as sickening as your shameless flirting.
AC: HEY!!!
AG: laugh out loud
AG: and what of me harley
GG: you, dear rival, are an open book for illiterate toddlers.
GG: the sky is blue, water is wet, and dolore maryam-lalonde is a depressed emo lesbian haunted by the history of her far more awesome ancestor.
AG: 8itch ill get you
GG: with what, your dusty specibuskind?
AG: like youd stand a fucking chance youre just some stuck up loser who wants to fuck an old earth plane.
GG: you don't even know old earth lingo.
GG: so you won't understand what i say to you now.
GG: dolore, it is my great pleasure to tell you:
GG+: l + ratio + your hair is ridiculous + your clothes are filthy + your mothers are going to get a divorce.
AG: WHAT.
AG: What Gives You That Impression
GG: doll, i was joking!
GG: are they actually going to?
AG: i dont Fucking know neither Tells me anything
AG: and frankly i dont think i want to find out
GG: i can't blame you.
GG: benifits of a single mother, i guess.
GG: never had to worry about that.
AG: guess not.
AG: well im going to make myself 8reakfast so. talk to you later
GC: L4t3r, Doll13!!
AC: byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
GG: enjoy your breakfast.

Harley was right about one thing, you think as you eat toast at a quiet table. Only your mother is here; your cici (Earth C noun, derived from custodian or possibly ancestor) is at the brooding caverns. She seems to spend every minute there these days. You eye your mother, who notices despite having been seemingly engrossed in her writing.

ROSE: Can I help you, Dolore?
DOLORE: its nothing

Your mother doesn't reply to that. Merely pauses unreadably before returning to her work.

ROSE: Happy wriggling day, by the way.
DOLORE: thanks
DOLORE: what are you writing?

Rose pauses again.

ROSE: Nothing you need to worry about.
DOLORE: ok whatever

You finish your toast and stand.

DOLORE: me and some Friends were talking about hanging out later
ROSE: If you're asking permission, you have it.
ROSE: Visit your cici if you have time.
DOLORE: visit her Yourself shes your Wife
ROSE: ... I am busy.
DOLORE: ... Cool. Right. Cool.

Wandering out of the house, you're struck by the sun. Your propensity to wear heavy black clothing doesn't gel with the near constant warm weather. Sure, it rains sometimes but then it's just warm and wet.

Your morose traipsing brings you to one of your relatives houses before you know it. It's one of the normal-looking ones- small garden, clean windows. It makes the damn gothic mansion you live in feel especially jarring, not that you mind.

As you eye the house, you hear a familiar voice.

BECK: you're here already?
DOLORE: Yeah
DOLORE: i want my annual dead things tax
BECK: you are unbelievably weird.
DOLORE: old news

Beck rolls their eyes and knocks. The door is answered by your non-blood related uncle, one Karkat Vantas.

KARKAT: YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHY BECK IS THE BEST ONE OF YOU KIDS.
KARKAT: BECAUSE THEY *TELL* ME WHEN THEY'RE COMING TO MY HOUSE.
KARKAT: YOU JUST SHOW UP.
DOLORE: unlike 8eck i dont have the phone number of Every Adult in my life
KARKAT: I MEAN, I GUESS THAT'S TRUE. ANYWAY. COME IN.

You like Karkat. About as much as you can like someone, anyway. He shares a great deal of your opinions on clothing (should be thick and monochrome), other people (far too much work than they're worth) and hemotyping (stupid).

KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU EXPECTED COMING HERE, BY THE WAY.
BECK: an escape from the helicopter.
KARKAT: YEAH, I GOT THAT. JAKE WAS BUSY?
BECK: i happen to not be in the mood for a mediocre movie marathon.
BECK: but also if mum does find out where i am you're much less likely to make me go home.
KARKAT: THAT IS TRUE.
KARKAT: I WAS MOSTLY TALKING TO DOLORE THOUGH.

You shrug.

KARKAT: RIGHT. MOPEY AS EVER.
DOLORE: im not Mopey
DOLORE: i just got here 8efore i got anywhere else
KARKAT: I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE.
DOLORE: wheres dave 8y the way
KARKAT: ... OH SHIT, YEAH. HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY.
DOLORE: thanks
KARKAT: MY CONDOLENCES. YES, THIS AGE SUCKS FOR EVERYONE.
BECK: didn't it mostly "suck" for you because of various extraneous circumstances including but not limited to the end of the world?
KARKAT: YES. THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T ACROSS THE BOARD SUCK.
DOLORE: hey count yourself lucky
DOLORE: you got an animal raising you instead of a pair of people with no right to 8e raising anything
KARKAT: HENCE WHY I WAS AND AM AGAINST THE IDEA OF ANY OF US REPRODUCING.
KARKAT: US? REALLY?
KARKAT: RIGHT, THE COLLECTION OF GODS WHO LITERALLY ALL LOST THEIR GUARDIANS IN TRAGIC ACCIDENTS AT THE AGE OF THIRTEEN. THESE WILL MAKE FOR GREAT PARENTS.
KARKAT: NOT TO MENTION THAT IT'S ALL VERY HUMAN. NO OFFENSE.
BECK: none taken.
BECK: the small percentage of me that's a dog doesn't think it makes much sense either.

As the three of you sit in the living room, Dave joins you.

DAVE: hey guys
DAVE: hows it hanging
DAVE: christ that was the most "how do you do fellow kids" thing ive ever said
DAVE: i walk into a conversation and every time have to duck the low doorway that is "how do you do fellow kids"
DAVE: and every time i fail and clothesline myself spectacularly
DAVE: rambling to myself while lying on my ass and possibly concussed
DAVE: all this to say
DAVE: hey guys hows it hanging
BECK: can't complain.
DOLORE: i woke up less than an hour ago
DAVE: it's a good day then
DAVE: happy birthday here is the customary dead thing
DOLORE: that is most of the reason i came here
DAVE: i am more than happy to be the dead things uncle
DAVE: most uncles giving their niblings like
DAVE: i dunno drugs or something
DAVE: has anyone ever actually done that?
DAVE: being generally irresponsible is my point
DAVE: meanwhile im doing my part in giving my niece dead things
BECK: that's functional family dynamics for you.
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: how are you champ
BECK: i can't even tell if you're being ironic anymore.
BECK: i am. fine.
DAVE: good stuff
KARKAT: GET OFF YOUR PHONE.
DOLORE: seriously irresponsible
DOLORE: i cant 8elieve the example youre setting
DAVE: just making sure roxy knows to come over
KARKAT: FUCKING HELL, DAVE, CAN YOU *TELL* ME BEFORE ARRANGING THINGS?!
DAVE: just did
KARKAT: NO YOU DIDN'T, YOU SAID YOU ALREADY ARRANGED IT AFTER NOT ASKING ME!
KARKAT: MAYBE I DON'T *WANT* ROXY TO COME OVER. YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT?
DAVE: ok karkat do you want roxy to come over
KARKAT: NO, WE'RE BUSY!
DAVE: too late, she is
KARKAT: FUCK OFF.
BECK: i must say, you're setting a dreadful example with all this swearing.
DOLORE: stop 8eing a loser
BECK: it was a joke.
DOLORE: didnt sound like one