Undertale was the first thing I really posted fanfic for. I'd previously put a Warriors fanfiction on Ao3 but. Meh. This also includes Deltarune because I haven't written that many Deltarune fics, however it doesn't include the two longer fics I wrote because they get their own pages.
Alphys breaks her treasured Mew Mew Kissy Cutie Limited Edition Deluxe figurine, and has to get glue from the True Lab. She does singing on the way.
Haha this was written at 3:00 AM because I was sick of not seeing any works that were just Alphys doing Alphys things. And I was listening to Fishy Love at the time (look it up on YouTube) and I thought of this.
Alphys lay quietly on her bed, running her claws over the blanket. She should get up. Probably. But she was tired. Alphys reached a hand onto her bedside table, and heard a concerning clunk as she knocked something off. That was either my glasses, or my phone. she thought. After fumbling around for a while, she finally grabbed her glasses off the table and was able to find her phone. But… her phone was on the counter. So what had fallen off? With a gasp of horror, Alphys leaned down over the side of her bed.
No!
The worst thing that could happen!
Because there, lying in two pieces was her Mew Mew Kissy Cutie Limited Edition Deluxe figurine. Frantically, she scrambled out of bed, and grabbed it. "No no no no!" she said, frantically trying to push the head back onto the anime girl's body. But it was useless. Alphys sighed. It'd be fine with glue, but… she'd left the glue in the lab. And she really didn't want to go down there.
But… It was just for a minute. It wouldn't be that bad. Besides… she could just… Before she finished the thought, Alphys was pulling the lab coat that was mainly used as a dressing gown over her pyjamas and scrabbling around for her headphones. She plugged them into her phone, and scrolled through her playlist… Can I Friend You On Basebook… Doki Love… She clicked on Mew Mew Returns Season 5's opening, bopping her head to the music as she shuffled into the lift.
Okay. The glue would probably just be in the power room. Probably. Hopefully. The door opened, and she switched on the lights, humming nervously. The power room was almost straight ahead. Just one corner. She speedwalked along, and into the power room, grabbing the glue off the floor. She sat cross-legged, precisely applying glue before sticking the figurine's head back on. Phew. Fixed. She walked a lot more happily back to the lift, singing along to the song that had come up on her playlist.
"Ooo, we break the laws of attraction,
Like you're sent from up above,
Got a case of fishy love!
Ooo, we're like an improper fraction,
Hope this ship gets safe to shore,
Though I'm really quite unsure."
Carefully not dropping the figurine, Alphys danced along to the peppy beat as the lift took her back up.
"Yeah yeah yeah!
She's always turning to violence,
I'm always turning to science,
She's so determined she's timeless,
And I'm so nervous I'm silent,
What if she finds out I'm lying?
What if she sends me home crying?
Why can't I just be kawaii?
And I'm like,"
As the lift reached the lab, Alphys danced out, singing even louder.
"BABY, BABY, BABY, YOU'RE SO FINE,
MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE, YOU'LL BE MINE,
CRUSHING, CRUSHING, CRUSHING ON UNDYNE-"
Oh. God.
The human.
The one she'd been watching on the cameras.
Was standing right there.
Staring at her.
Alphys was about to die of embarrassment.
The song she's singing is Fishy Love by Griffinilla. Because it's funny to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I dunno.
Edit: The singing WOULD have been in italics.
Ao3 said No.
(I took the liberty of editing the formatting now because. It just looks better.)
Alphys has a date with Undyne, so Mettaton takes Alphys clothes shopping.
Haha how do I tag this I don't even know...
Alphys shyly shuffled after Mettaton as he led her into the mall. "Are you sure-?" she asked before he interrupted.
"As I have said a hundred times, Alphys. Yes. I am sure. You'll be fine! You're with me!" Alphys swallowed nervously, and tried not to make eye contact. "Besides, I come here all the time, I'm sure they'll have something good enough for your date!" She looked around, barely able to read some of the signs- their font was worse than her handwriting- and followed Mettaton inside one of the shops. "Let's see… Dress?"
"What?" she replied, snapping back to the conversation.
"Do you want to wear a dress?" Mettaton asked.
"Oh- um… yeah?"
"Good, now I know where to look." Mettaton bustled off, the click of his heels audible over the pop music playing from the mall. Alphys trailed after him, finding Mettaton rifling through a rack of short dresses. "Hm…" Mettaton muttered to himself. "Yellow would be ridiculous, but navy, or purple, and of course there's always pink-" Alphys stopped listening as she spotted the prettiest dress she'd ever seen. It was black, and sleeveless, with a high neckline and a flared skirt. There were little silver stitches along the bottom of the skirt, giving the impression that it was a dark, starry night. Slightly entranced, Alphys walked over to it, admiring it. She heard Mettaton trot up, carrying three other dresses. "Why did you wander off? How can I help you clothes shopping if you go-" he paused for a moment, seeming to examine the dress. Wordlessly, he picked one up, and put it over his arm with the others. "Right. You try these on, I'll just be looking at the makeup for a moment." Alphys took the pile of dresses and brought them into the fitting room. They were nice- a navy spaghetti-strapped one with ruffles around the neckline, a floaty fuchsia one made seemingly entirely out of gauze and an off the shoulder green dress, but she'd known from the moment she saw it that the black dress was the one. She still tried all of them on, twirling in front of the mirror, but her resolve only strengthened the fact that she was going to wear this black dress on her date! She came out with the four dresses, and managed to find Mettaton examining different brushes. "Which one, which one!" he exclaimed excitedly as soon as he noticed Alphys. She held up the black one and he nodded. "I thought so. Need anything else?"
"No, no! The dress is fine!" Alphys replied. Mettaton raised a robotic eyebrow, but didn't respond other than that. Alphys walked next to Mettaton up to the cashier. "I only need the black one!" she squeaked when Mettaton placed all four dresses (and a large bottle of hairspray) on the counter.
Mettaton fixed her with a look. "Do you like the other dresses?"
"Yes?"
"Good. You always want more than one nice dress."
Mettaton insisted on paying for the clothes- "I'm a celebrity, darling, what else will I spend money on?" and on taking Alphys to four other shops- nail varnish, different nail varnish that was actually lizard-monster friendly, shoes, and finally, a cafe. Alphys swung her legs under the table as she stared into her cup of coffee. "Thanks, Mettaton." she said, after a long silence.
"Don't mention it!" Mettaton waved his hands theatrically. "I love helping you shop, really. And I look forward to hearing how this date goes." Alphys laughed nervously, and sipped her coffee. She felt her feet brush the bag as she swung them, and felt a tickle of excitement. "And if you want any more help- makeup, hair-"
"Remember, I taught you makeup!" Alphys giggled. Mettaton looked surprised for a moment, before laughing with her.
"So you did!" he said. "In that case, don't listen to me. Just have fun." Mettaton took a look at his watch. "Ah. I have somewhere to be in a few minutes. Well, this was lovely, darling! I hope we can do this again!"
"Bye, Mettaton!" Alphys called, waving. This was going to be great. She could feel the excitement to show Undyne her new dresses. She took another sip of coffee. Yes. This would be amazing.
I love describing clothes. Mostly because I get to make Pinterest boards.
Frisk dies.
That's it, that's the plot.
Frisk feels like they probably shouldn't be making noises.
It's a very serious situation, they shouldn't be going "hwacha!" and "hoiyah!" with every successful block from them, but to be fair, Undyne seems to like it, because she starts doing the same thing, and the head voice is in slight disbelief but also trying not to admit how really cool this is despite the fact that Frisk is totally still bleeding from that weird buff horse thingy and totally forgot to SAVE. Oops. But it's fine, nothing's wrong and OW.
They miss at least three spears and pew pew pew that's FIFTEEN OH NO and now instead of nice shiny 30/32 it's 15/32 and that's very scary all of a sudden because if they mess up again if they don't keep it together but NOPE IT'S FINE JUST FOCUS.
Head Voice is panicking a little. But the other thing Frisk forgot? Food! Like a genius, they forgot SAVEing and food!
They're trying to focus and pay attention but actually that's really hard when most of their health vanished in one turn and NO-
Chara! Stay determined!
Yeah, they know that. Stupid head voice. But thinking about it… when did they last SAVE? Not recently.
So when they RESET and end up back in SNOWDIN OH MY GOD the head voice can't help but sigh exasperatedly.
Dang it.
God I should sleep instead of writing like two hundred word fanfiction.
Fucking won't though.
A montage of various scenes throughout Alphys and Mettaton's "friendship."
Wow, Mettaton sucks as a friend, so like. Yeah. He needs to chill. Don't worry, he does, it has a happy ending.
"This is it? The new body?" His thin, whispy voice echoed through the tiny room.
"W-well, this is just a sketch, so-"
"It's PERFECT! Perfect, darling!" he floated up to the blueprint to get a better look. The dramatic silhouette! The shoulder pads! The HEELS! He couldn't believe his eyes! Finally… a perfect body. "Thank you, Alphys!" he said, turning to her with wet eyes.
"L-listen, I've not even started-" Alphys protested before he pulled her into a hug. "...but I can right away!" she squeaked. "We could, um, go to the dump right now? Find some parts?"
"That sounds excellent!" he said, floating towards the door as his outline fizzled with excitement. A body! A body he could be happy in! And a best friend to boot! This might be, without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me!
~🤍~
"What do you mean, it isn't ready?" he asked, infuriated as he glowed red.
"W-well, I've been kind of b-b-busy-"
"What could possibly be more important that my body?"
Alphys muttered something. "What?"
"Mew Mew Kissy Cutie Box Set."
"What?"
"Mew Mew Kissy Cutie Box Set! Look, I was going through the dump, and I just found it lying there and I've been watching it, I'm on episode 47 already and there's 84-"
"You're telling me. That my body. Is less important. Than a cartoon?!"
"No! Jeez, I just wanted a break from working on that thing!" Alphys huffed angrily. "Why do you have a problem with that?" He suddenly realised how rude what he'd said was. "Sorry. I just can't wait for it to be finished! It's going to be fabulous!"
Alphys nervously looked up. "Would you like to watch some episodes with me?"
"...Fine." He didn't like the silly cartoon, but he figured he probably owed it to Alphys after getting so worked up about something so stupid. So, he sat down on the couch next to Alphys and let her explain every plot detail up until that point.
~🤍~
"Alphys, darling? It's meeee!"
Alphys wrinkled her face. She didn't want to talk to Mettaton right now. The patients weren't responding to the doses, and she was getting letters, and having to work on that dumb, sexy body-
"I've come to ask about-"
"Your new body, yes, no, it isn't done." Alphys sighed. "Look, I'm really busy, okay?"
She'd expected a polite response. Maybe an apology for forgetting Alphys was the royal scientist now and actually had to do her job. Instead, what she got was,
"Well, so am I, Alphys. That body represents my hopes and dreams, and my viewer count is rising every broadcast! I need. It. Done."
"You know, it isn't my job to be your personal engineer!" Alphys exclaimed. "I'm the royal scientist! I have to do the tests for the things I've been asked to look into! Besides," she added lamely. "I thought you liked this one anyway."
"Well… yes…" Mettaton wheeled uncomfortably. "But it was always a prototype, so I don't know why you're surprised."
Alphys didn't want to be angry with him. But she could tell he was angry with her. "You know what, I'm going to be late." Mettaton wheeled out the door. "Hope you can finish soon!"
As the door closed, Alphys slumped against a wall. It was so much easier when Mettaton was just another monster that it just so happened that Alphys could help. She missed infodumping about anime and him doing her nails and fussing about her clothes. It's fine. she thought. I'll finish these experiments… I'll finish his body…
It'll be fine.
~🤍~
"Oh, Alphys!" Mettaton waited for a moment as his robotic voice echoed through an empty lab. "Alphys, I'm here for an update! You said there was an update!" And he'd found the most darling dress for her, as an apology for how he'd acted a few weeks ago, which he would have done over the phone but Alphys hadn't been picking up recently. He could see the lift doors were open, so he wheeled inside, assuming Alphys was on the second floor.
Entering the second floor of the lab, he was struck by how dark it was. How could Alphys work with all the lights off? Probably watching anime in her pyjamas again- "Alphyyyyyys! I have something for youuuuu!" Mettaton switched his screen into a torch and wheeled forward, down the hall. He knew where she'd be if she was anywhere in the lab- the TV room she'd installed.
Aha! Her voice was coming from just ahead, possibly a little higher pitched and panicked than usual but Mettaton assumed two characters she liked had looked at each other for too long and continued in.
Only to be met by Alphys surrounded by misshapen, dripping, slimy creatures that all turned to look at him, making agitated noises. "Mettaton!?" Alphys squeaked. "You shouldn't be here- I can exp-p-p-plain, just, t-turn off the torch-"
"What. Is. That?" Mettaton asked, horrified.
"L-L-Listen, I'll explain everything, just not here, you're making them edgy-"
Then a familiar voice emanated from one of the shambling creatures. A voice he hadn't heard in a while. "Hapstablook?"
Mettaton snapped his torch over to the one that had spoken. It was slimy and a little snakelike, with two muscular arms, strangely familiar eyes and large fangs. "How does it know that name?" he snapped at Alphys.
A trio of voices choruses from the same creature, layering so it was hard to tell what any of them were saying, but what it sounded like it was trying to say was,
"It's me… (who the hell…) Shyra… (blorp)"
Mettaton stared at it closer. Looking around the other creatures, it became more and more obvious. "What happened to them?" Mettaton asked Alphys.
"W-w-well, it-t-t's a long s-s-s-story, b-b-but, I-"
"You did this?" Mettaton asked incredulously.
"No! Y-yes! I made a mistake!" Alphys pleaded. "I d-didn't mean to- don't touch them!" she added as Mettaton reached a tentative hand out.
"These… these are monsters?" Mettaton said, asking for clarification.
"Y-yes. They… were." Alphys said. "Th-they'd already fallen down- they would be dead otherwise!"
"Dead? What the hell is this, Alphys?"
"They melted!" Alphys shrieked, cutting through the air like a knife that silenced every other noise. "They melted…. Together…"
Mettaton stared at her. "You…"
"I d-d-d-didn't mean to, it w-w-was an accident- Come back!"
As Mettaton wheeled back through the corridor, Alphys chased him desperately. "Please, don't tell anyone, no one can know!"
"What, that you melted their family members? I think they definitely should know."
Alphys pushed in front of him, blocking his way to the lift. "I-If you tell anyone… I'll tell your cousin who you are."
"You wouldn't." Mettaton scoffed, although as he said it, he doubted the statement. After all, he didn't know Alphys had it in her to melt people, she could have it in her to blackmail. "I would." Alphys's voice was quiet. "Please, just… don't tell anyone."
Both of them were silent for a long time.
"Fine." Mettaton said finally. "But just know that what you're doing is evil. And I'm not friends with evil people."
And with that, he wheeled past her.
~🤍~
Alphys didn't want to call him.
Not after the fiasco of their last conversation. But, he was her only hope for this plan to work. So, staring at the human on the monitor, hands shaking, she rang his number.
"You have reached the voicemail of: Mettaton, darling. Please leave a message."
"H-hi, Mettaton. I-It's me. Alphys. I, um… I… I found something on the cameras you might want to see."
"Well then?" the other end of the line responded rudely. Alphys jumped, pulling the phone away from her ear to see that he'd switched the call over to facecam. Alphys wordlessly turned the phone to face the screen where the human seemed to be sitting by a door, huddled in a pile. "That's a-"
"A human. Yep." Alphys said. "And, I… had an idea."
"Well?"
"Listen, that human just got into view of my good Waterfall cameras. Probably no one in the Underground knows about this!"
"And?"
"S-so I was thinking… maybe… I-I could, um… we could… work together?"
"To do what?"
"W-well, I bet your fans would r-really like to see a real live human?"
Alphys waited for a response. "They would, yes. What's this idea?"
So Alphys explained. How she'd be helpful Doctor Alphys, royal scientist and human fan, and Mettaton would be the malfunctioning killer robot. He stayed silent basically the whole time, waiting until Alphys had finished explaining. Hopefully. Or he'd hung up and she was talking to herself. "W-well?" she said finally.
"I think that's not a half bad idea." Mettaton replied.
"Oh! Good! Yes! Amazing! I'll, um… come to the lab and we can… set stuff up!"
~🤍~
"-all so she can convince you she's the good person… that she's not."
For a moment, Alphys had thought he'd forgiven her. Or forgotten about it. He'd gone along with most of her plan up until this point. Until suddenly, he rearranged the entire CORE, hired mercenaries to attack the human and locked her out of the room. She tried a few more times to push the door open, before slumping to the ground defeatedly. She curled herself up into a ball, tears rolling down her face. She should have known. Mettaton still hated her, the human probably hated her now too. Staring out over the edge of the platform, past the thin, fragile railing, the pulse of the CORE's light was almost beckoning. "Come on," it seemed to say. "No one would miss you. Jump."
Alphys couldn't bring herself to stand, though.
She'd screwed up.
Just like she did when making Mettaton's first body, just like when Asgore told her to research human SOULs, just like when Mettaton had stormed off after finding out.
Screw up.
Stupid.
Villain.
The words orbited in her mind as she trembled. Until suddenly, pink smoke began to leak through the door.
He hadn't- he wouldn't!
But Alphys knew how the EX body worked, and knew that if Mettaton was going to fight with it like she could hear him saying, it wouldn't stand a chance.
He wouldn't stand a chance.
She had to get this door open.
~🤍~
Watching her second sunset from Undyne's shoulders as the many, many monsters made their way down the mountain, Alphys stared across at the city in the distance. What would it be like? Surface life… terrifying. But also exciting!
A familiar whirring caught her attention as Mettaton ran up, clearly enjoying having legs. "Ah. Hello, Alphys. Er. Can I have a word?" Alphys nodded nervously, before he added, "In private. Or, as private as you get in a crowd like this."
Alphys slid down from Undyne's shoulders, and followed Mettaton over to the edge of the crowd. "Listen, I thought about what happened… and what I said… and I just wanted to say…" He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. For… everything."
"Everything?"
"I was ungrateful, and cruel. Truthfully, you've helped my dreams come true, and in turn, I treated you like trash."
"Not like it was undeserved…" Alphys tried to joke.
"Of course it was undeserved!" Mettaton insisted. "Look, I'm… I'm going to try to be better. No more bossing, no more guilt tripping, no more… rudeness. And you have my full permission to slap me if I try anything like that again."
"O-okay." Alphys stood next to Mettaton for a moment before he continued. "You're my best friend, you know that, right?"
"Of c-course! Y-you're mine!" Alphys replied, not sure how else to.
Two best friends, watching the sunset.
The end of one era and the beginning of another.
Hopefully, Alphys could convince Undyne and Mettaton to get along.
I don't think I like this, but Ao3 is an archive and I want to be able to find my old writing, so...
Chara has to go to college. Noelle is their roommate. Shit happens.
yeah i dunno just felt like writing something like this so i did.
also chara is a goth theatre kid, convince me otherwise, you can't.
It was funny how often the three's fashion senses looked ridiculous together.
The picture they made- Frisk with their loose, soft clothes, wild hair and beginnings of stubble, Chara with their form-fitting, gothic clothes, lots of eyeliner, looking the definition of androgynous, and Asriel, in a hoodie. Looking completely normal.
Absolutely the best way to turn up to college.
As Chara exited the front seat of the car- a hard-earned position from multiple battles, one of which involved fire- Toriel leaned out to see the three kids off. "Have a great first day, you three!" Toriel said. "Call me if you need anything, or if something happens-"
"Or if the sky is blue." Chara snickered playfully. "We will, mum."
Toriel laughed. "I love you all." she assured them, before winding up the window and driving off.
"So, uh," Asriel said, scuffing his trainers against the ground. "We should probably go and find our roommates, huh."
"I guess." Chara said.
Hopefully Chara's will be okay with the heck-ton of clothes they brought. Frisk said.
"Hey!" Chara replied indignantly. "I'll have you know it was at least a shit-ton."
Asriel gasped in mock-shock. "Less than a minute and you start swearing?"
"Uh, yeah. Mum's not here to stop us." Chara said nonchalantly. Asriel sighed. "Well, uh, see you two later, I guess."
"Yeah, see you." Chara said, and reluctantly began to walk towards the building it knew their room was in. Their bags were really heavy. Who knew clothes could weigh so much? Not Chara, packing every item of clothing they owned, and probably going to buy even more later. Chara knocked on the door to their room before entering. Who knew if their roommate was already there? Fortunately, whoever they would be living with for the next several years wasn't there yet, so Chara unlocked the door and assessed the room. Three rooms- a living room, and two bedrooms, plus a tiny bathroom. Each bedroom had a wardrobe, a desk, a bed and a set of drawers. Chara noted that neither the wardrobe or drawers would be big enough to fit all its clothes in there. The bed seemed comfy enough, though. And the desk had plenty of room. Chara plonked their bags on the floor and began unpacking.
Priorities:
Then the door knocked before they could finish step 1.
Hmmm that threw them off their rhythm.
"Um… hello?" a polite voice asked through the door. "It's, um. Your roommate, I guess?"
Chara reluctantly stood, and made their way over to the door.
In front of them stood a deer monster, with antlers, blonde hair and a suitcase. "Hi! Oh, gosh." The deer monster looked them up and down.
"Take a picture, it will last longer." Chara said coolly.
"Sorry, sorry!" The deer monster stuck out their hoof. "I'm Noelle Holiday! And my pronouns are she/her!"
"Uh…" Chara reluctantly shook her hoof. "Chara. They/It."
"Um… can I come in?" Noelle asked. Chara shuffled aside, and began to return to unpacking its stuff. Noelle poked her head around the door. "That's, erm, a lot of clothes."
"Yep." Chara replied flatly.
Noelle seemed to take the hint, and backed over to the other room. Chara finished setting up their laptop, plugging it into the wall socket, then got out their phone and headphones to start listening to some good old musical tunes. Playlist on shuffle. Wrong shuffle. Chara skipped past Kidnap the Sandy Claws and My Friends before settling in to the familiar strains of Freeze Your Brain. Waving their head to the melody, it almost didn't notice Noelle now staring through the door. Again. "Don't you have anything better to do?" Chara snapped, pausing their music. Noelle flinched, and Chara suddenly felt bad. "Sorry. I'm kinda, uh, tense."
"No-no, it's fine!" Noelle squeaked, before changing the subject. "What were you listening to?"
"Music." Chara responded, suddenly nervous. Musicals were kind of a less mainstream thing. Not that Chara didn't like that.
"What kind of music?" Noelle asked.
Chara figured it should just bite the bullet. "Musicals. But not, like, the sappy Disney shit. Cool musicals." That sounded incredibly less cool.
"Oh! Um, which ones?" Noelle leaned over and, catching sight of the Heathers logo on the top of the music window, squeaked again. "Oh! I know that one!"
"You know Heathers?" Chara replied incredulously. Noelle didn't look like the type.
"I- I mean, um." Noelle shuffled shyly. "I, um. It came up on my recommended and I listened to it and kinda liked it, so… yes?"
"Huh." Chara looked Noelle up and down. "What were you listening to to get Heathers in your recommended?"
"Um…" Noelle said something Chara didn't catch.
"What?"
"That was… kind of a lie…" Noelle said. "A, um, a friend likes Heathers, so she showed me some of the songs, and I liked them."
"Why would you lie about that?" Chara asked, confused.
It's, um, I don't know…" Noelle looked nervous. "Not a very cool way to get into musicals."
I mean, I just heard of one of the songs, searched it, liked it, then fell down a rabbit hole." Chara said, shrugging. "What other musicals do you like?"
"Um…" Noelle seemed to think about this for a while. "I… kinda like some of the newer musicals… Hamilton and Mean Girls…"
"What about, uh…" Chara scanned their playlist. "The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals?"
"I've, um, not heard of that one." Noelle replied nervously.
Chara looked around their room for a second to try and find a speaker before giving up. "So, this alien plague comes and it infects people, and everyone who's infected starts acting like they're in a musical, you know, singing about their everyday lives, except this one random guy who doesn't like musicals."
"That sounds… interesting." Noelle said.
"Good." Chara said, unplugging their headphones and letting the funky beat of the opening song play from their shitty phone speaker.
Noelle let out a shocked giggle the moment the chorus started playing and she heard the word "fuck".
"That's, um… certainly something." she said nervously once the song ended.
"You should hear the later songs." Chara grinned. "They get dark fast."
"I'd, um. Actually quite like that." Noelle replied shyly.
Chara had wanted to go with their original plan. However, there was something tempting about spending the day playing sweary musical songs at a clearly flustered but interested roommate who could clearly use some edge-ifying.
Unpacking could wait.
Noelle sat up completely straight as the first line of Not Your Seed emanated from Chara's phone speaker. Chara wanted to ask what that was about, but didn't want to talk over their favourite song, so shut up (until the harmonies. Chara liked singing harmonies more than it disliked singing in front of people.)
Then the bridge started playing.
Noelle suddenly looked like she was about to start crying. Chara looked over. They didn't want to interrupt the music, so they signed instead. Having a nonverbal sibling had its benefits. Wanna see the lyrics for the last chorus?
Noelle nodded, and Chara slid the phone over to her. They knew all the lyrics anyway. And could harmonise.
" I'm not your seed!"
"Not your girl, not your girl,"
"Now maybe you'll listen to me,"
"Listen to me, listen to me,"
"I'm sure you'll let me bleed!"
"Let me bleed,"
Now your daughter's not your girl no more…"
"Girl no more… girl no more,"
"Not at all your seed!"
"Are you okay?" Chara asked when Noelle looked like she was still about to cry.
"Mhm! Yep! Just, um…" Noelle swiped at her eyes a little. Chara shuffled awkwardly. "Uh… you don't… seem… okay…"
"I'm fine…" Noelle insisted as she tried to cover her face.
Chara paused the music before Show Stoppin Number could play. "Was the music that bad?" they joked.
"No, no, it's really cool, really…" Noelle took a shaky breath. "I've just, um… never felt like a song… I've never related to a song that much before."
"You don't look like you've been possessed by an alien." Was sarcasm probably the best thing in the moment? Absolutely not. Was Chara going to waste the chance to be funny? Absolutely not. "Uh, in all seriousness, do you want some tissues or… something?"
"N-no, I think I'm alright…" Noelle rubbed her eyes a little. Chara adjusted their legs to a more comfortable position. "So, uh… would you like to finish this soundtrack or…?"
"How many songs are left?"
"Uh…" Chara tried then failed some mental maths. "Like five."
"Are they all…"
"Nah, it's more of just the aliens winning." Chara said.
Great. Now there was an awkward silence. "So… uh. You want me to introduce you to more crazy horror-slash-thriller musicals?" Chara asked after a moment.
"...Okay?" Noelle said, sounding unsure.
"Alright. Classic or new?" Chara asked, beginning to scroll through their playlist.
"I… don't know. You pick?" Noelle replied.
"Okay, how about…" Chara picked the excellently contrasting colours from the many album covers on the playlist. A brass hit began the prologue of one of Chara's other favourite musicals (was it odd all their favourites were edgy, gay and involved characters with trauma surrounding parents? Absolutely not.)
"Daylight comes and we wan' go…"
Noelle looked up. "This sounds… familiar."
"Oh, you know Beetlejuice?" Chara asked.
"I… thought that wasn't a musical." Noelle paused as the speaking part of Prologue: Invisible started to play. "Is it?"
"Uh… I guess?" Chara replied. They had the vague idea Beetlejuice had been adapted, but hadn't seen the original ("too scary"). "It is a pretty good musical." As the song continued with Lydia's solo, Chara stood up to grab a certain item of clothing from its bag. "What are you doing?" Noelle asked. Chara just held up a finger before speaking along to the lines.
"Holy crap. A ballad already? And such a bold departure from the original source material!"
With that, Chara spun on the opening line. "Hey folks, begging your pardon!
S'cuse me, sorry to barge in!
Now let's skip the tears and start on the whole, y'know, 'being dead' thing!"
The absurd combination of Chara's refined, elegant look and a very wrinkled white suit jacket with bold black stripes, along with a slightly insane look on their face (it loved getting into character as Beetlejuice) startled a laugh out of Noelle. "You're doomed!
Enjoy the singing!
The sword of Damocles is swinging!
And if I hear your cell phone ringing,
I'll kill you myself."
"The whole 'being dead' thing!
Death can get a person stressed,
'We should have carpe'd way more diems,
Now we're never gonna see 'em!'
I can show you what comes next!
So don't be freaked,
Stay in your seats!
I do this bullshit like eight times a week.
So just relax, you'll be fine,
Drink your fifty dollar wine,
And take a breath.
Welcome to a show about death!"
At which point the music was interrupted by the phone's logo appearing on a black background as it ran out of battery. Chara looked down, their arms still raised from the last line. "Shit." Noelle burst out laughing at that. "To be fair, that was the best timing it's ever had." Chara said, picking up the phone and now having to rummage for a charger. "However, now I don't have excuses to procrastinate unpacking more than my laptop."
Noelle looked over at said laptop, abandoned on the desk, and, probably upon seeing how beefy it was, said "That's… not just for schoolwork, is it?"
Chara took a second to debate telling Noelle about their gaming habits, before deciding she seemed enough of a nerd to not care. "Minecraft. Hollow Knight. Small emotionally ravaging indie RPGs."
Noelle perked up. "Oh! You game?"
Chara looked back. " You game?" Looking Noelle up and down, she didn't really look the type. "Um… yeah?" Noelle replied shyly. "I've also played Minecraft. Um. I've played some horror games a few times. Celeste."
"Oh, I've been meaning to play that." Chara replied. When Noelle had first walked in, Chara had been pretty thrown off by how different to them she'd seemed. Maybe she wasn't that different. "Um…" Noelle looked at the floor. "I should unpack too, but, um… maybe we could… play Minecraft? Later?"
"Sure, okay." Chara replied, stamping down their rising anxiety at the idea of socialising. They'd played with Frisk and Asriel before, it wasn't a big deal.
"Cool!" Noelle squeaked, before retreating to her room and closing the door. Chara finally found their phone charger, plugged in their phone and headphones and continued listening to random musical tunes (and doing a bit of singing along) while they began to put their clothes in the wardrobe and put its various fidget toys, small pillows and makeup in other constructive places. It even had to switch over to their game music playlist at one point. By the time they'd finished, the clock on its phone said 16:58 and their new room looked pretty put together and they were really hungry . Opening their door, it saw that Noelle's door was also closed, so they knocked politely. An audible jump and some scurrying hooves preceded Noelle opening the door. "Yes?" she squeaked nervously. Looking past her, Noelle's room was very neat and tidy, with a lot of garlands and lights and dangly things and a few oddly shaped objects that looked suspiciously like fidget toys. Chara attempted to get their brain back on track. "Uh. Are you hungry?"
"Oh. Um. Yeah?" Noelle replied.
"Do you want to… eat something, then?" Chara asked.
"Um… sure!" Noelle said. "Um. I have some food my sister had me bring. We could eat that?"
"Uh, okay." Chara nodded. "I think my mom got me some too."
"Nice! We could… eat, then play Minecraft?" Noelle suggested.
"Okay. Yep. Sounds good." Chara went back over to their room, looking through the tote bag Toriel had had them pack (although they'd picked the only tote bag it owned, which was black and had a white upside-down heart on it in the style of a monster SOUL). Toriel had packed a few of those plastic boxes with the clippy lids that Chara didn't know the name of and chocolate bars (which excited Chara to no end). They brought the bag out to the middle of the room with their laptop and pillows to sit on. Noelle had a somewhat similar set up, minus the pillow and plus a speaker. "I just thought maybe some background music would be nice." she explained as Chara sat down.
"Nice." Chara replied. "Do you want to pick the music, or should I?"
"I… don't have much good music." Noelle confessed. "Mostly I just listen to my sister's covers."
"Your sister does music?"
"Um… yes?" Noelle replied nervously. "She, um… She plays guitar. I sing, sometimes. Mostly she sings."
"I mean, I played my edgy musicals at you, it's only fair if you play some of your sister's music." Chara said, opening their laptop. Noelle unexpectedly took out a CD player, plugged it into the speaker and presumably pressed play, because some guitar music started to emanate from the speakers. Chara also liked CDs. Neat. Noelle looked at the album case with her computer on her lap. Chara read a few song titles it recognised from various radios, Asriel's playlists and some from their own frequent listening. Seven Nation Army , Nothing Else Matters , Grimm Troupe . Neat. The first song was apparently called My Blood , and Chara settled in for a long evening.
Alphys has a nightmare. Undyne comforts her.
The goo was running down her hands.
It was sticky and disgusting and made all her senses want to crawl into a corner and die and it was all her fault.
She'd not been careful enough. She'd overdosed them with determination.
And now, staring up at the giant mass of fused monsters, all she could do was scream, scream, SCREAM-
"ALPHYS!"
Alphys sat up, gasping for breath. Moonlight shone through the curtains, illuminating their bedroom. Beside her, Undyne leaned closer. "Are you okay?"
Alphys couldn't speak, but nodded. She didn't feel okay, not in the slightest, but it wasn't real. It was a nightmare. She was in her bed, with Undyne. It was fine. But she felt like she was going to shake herself to pieces.
Undyne suddenly leaned in, pulling Alphys into a hug. "You're okay." she said. "You're alright. I'm here." Alphys leaned against Undyne, their scales brushing up against each other with a smooth, nice feeling, the quiet, slow vibration of Undyne's hum comforting. Undyne gently ran her hands over Alphys's spikes. "You're okay." she repeated.
Alphys could feel the tension leaving her body. She was okay. It was alright. Monsters were living safely on the surface, the amalgamates were with their families, she was with the love of her life.
Undyne looked down at her. "Better?"
"Yeah." Alphys replied softly.
"Okay. You ready to go back to sleep?"
"Mhm."
"Great." Undyne yawned, before lying down, her hair covering the pillow. Alphys lay down beside her, and felt Undyne wrap her arms around her. "Love you, Alphy."
"Love you, Undyne."
It was fine.
Everything was alright.
i'm so fucking lonely lol.
Alphys didn't want to be here.
She hadn't wanted to be shown through a sterile, too-bright lab by a monster that just kept smiling today.
She'd wanted to sleep in, watch anime and probably eat nuggets or something.
But no.
CW for Meltdowns
Having an Alphys evening/night. Yay.
Alphys didn't want to be here.
She hadn't wanted to be shown through a sterile, too-bright lab by a monster that just kept smiling today.
She'd wanted to sleep in, watch anime and probably eat nuggets or something.
But no.
She kept replaying the events leading up to this moment- being at Mettaton's last show, someone coming up behind her and asking if she was the one who'd made him, her saying yes and turning and it being Asgore, the king, who'd she'd been crushing on since she saw him on TV once, and he'd complimented her. Said she must be really smart to make a robot with a SOUL. And Alphys hadn't had the heart to correct him, and hadn't wanted to out Mettaton, so she'd nodded and smiled and then suddenly he was offering her a JOB and now she was here.
"And that's the whole lab!" the smiling monster said, heading towards the door. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call!"
Ohhhhhhhh god.
Alphys felt shivers running down her entire body.
Boxes of her possessions were piled in the living area of the lab- because of course not only was she doing a new job but also moving- but they felt miles away and completely static, she couldn't possibly even consider unpacking them. Instead she just crouched uncomfortably- better that than touch the weird floor with plastic tiles- the seams of all her clothes digging into her as she pressed her claws against her head.
This wasn't right, this wasn't normal, this wasn't where she should be. She should be at home where all her stuff was, except it wasn't, it was upstairs in boxes and she needed to unpack it and move furniture and organise and now there were tears rolling down her face and the makeup she'd forgotten to wash off from yesterday was running down her face with it and it felt weird and gross-
Someone was calling her.
The vibration was going through her thigh.
Alphys pulled out her phone. Through her tears, she could read "Catty <3".
She didn't want to answer, but did anyway. Catty would be worried if she didn't. "H-hi." she said hoarsely.
"Hi, Alphys!" Catty mewed. "Me and Bratty, like, heard about you getting hired! That's, like, so COOL!""Mhm."
"Hey, uh, are you, like, okay?" Catty asked.
Alphys nodded. That was dumb. Catty couldn't see her. And she was lying anyway. "Yep." she said.
"You don't, like… sound okay." Catty said. "You know what? I'm calling Bratty, we're coming over. Like, see you then, girl!"
"No, no, you don't-" Catty had already hung up.
Alphys slumped a little. Catty and Bratty were gonna come over. She should at least get off the floor. Plus her knees were starting to hurt. She managed to stand up without bursting into tears, and found her way to where the elevator to the living area was. Bratty had texted her- "omw bestie!!!<3<3<3". It'd be fine. Her friends were gonna help her unpack.
She'd be able to chill, and watch anime, just afterwards.
Besides, she'd impressed Asgore, right? That wasn't a bad thing! That was good! Even if it was through lying!
By the time Alphys, Catty and Bratty were done, Alphys felt a lot better. She hadn't had much space before- now all her stuff could fit wherever. She'd been able to solve the weird floor in the actual lab by putting flip-flops in the elevator. If she was going down there, she could just wear those. She'd been able to set up her computer fine, her bed fine, everything was fine!
Alphys wasn't even sure what had stressed her out so much. It hadn't actually been too bad, even.
And now she and Bratty and Catty could listen to music and dance and probably get something to eat later.
As the J-pop flooded out of the speaker at just the right volume, Alphys felt like maybe this could work.
I want the world to know that halfway through writing this fic I was almost sick.
So yeah.
The writing's that bad.
This specifically is the Undertale ending branch where the human did pacifist up to Undyne, befriended her, then killed Mettaton. Because that ending is fucking miserable.
Undyne had known something was very, very wrong when Alphys had texted her.
"Goodbye."
No, no no no no. She'd just lost Asgore. She couldn't…
The lab door was locked. Shit. Undyne kicked it down. "ALPHYS!" she yelled as loudly as she could. "ALPHYS!"
There was a note on the floor.
Undyne picked it up, and, although the handwriting made it hard to read, managed to decipher it.
I'm sorry.
This is all my fault.
I don't deserve to be here, same as I don't deserve to be able to hide.
If you want to know what I've done,.go through the door. I left it unlocked.
-Alphys.
FUCK.
Undyne spotted the door, one she hadn't really paid attention to before, and raced in. An elevator. SHE DIDN'T HAVE TIME!
After what felt like an eternity, the doors opened, and Undyne ran down a strange dark hall. She couldn't think about what the hell this place was, though. She just had to go.
Undyne could faintly hear a strange scratching. She recognized it as the sound Alphys's claws made on the tiles in the upper lab? living area? she wasn't sure what to call it, and tried to follow it.
Until she ran past a room with a familiar yellow figure.
Undyne ran into the room. "Alphys!"
Alphys looked up, shocked. She'd put her glasses on the floor next to her, and Undyne could see tear tracks running down her face. "U-Undyne? What are you doing here-?!"
"Whatever you're doing, you can't." Undyne said. "You can't… I can't lose you too."
Alphys stared at her silently, like she couldn't believe that. Undyne stepped closer. "Whatever you think is your fault- Mettaton's death, A… Asgore's death- they aren't. The only person to blame is me and that human."
"Wh-what?" Alphys looked shocked that Undyne could think that. "I… I sent Mettaton to die. I could have killed that human, but I didn't, just so I could manipulate them into liking me, then watch uselessly as they…" Alphys trailed off. "Not to mention the stuff down here."
" I could have killed that human. But I didn't. I failed. And now more people are dead because of me." Undyne crouched, laying a hand on Alphys's shoulder. "Don't add yourself to that list."
Alphys stared at her for a long, terrifying moment before collapsing into Undyne, tears rolling down her face.
Undyne hugged Alphys, held her like if she let go she'd shatter.
The two just… sat there. Holding onto each other. Both thinking the horrors that human had inflicted were their fault. Both not wanting the other to let go.
Clinging together like a lifeline.
Asriel's first week with Asgore
Yes, I did make up names for all six other humans. I also made up gender identities. WHAT ABOUT IT?
Trembling, Asriel looked over at the doorway he'd heard footsteps coming from.
Asgore walked in. But Asriel didn't feel comforted. He was almost unrecognisable. His fuzzy mane of hair was unkempt and messy, he was wearing his ceremonial armour but it was covered in dirt and… strange red marks. He looked… defeated. Sad. Tired.
Asgore looked up, his fur streaked.
Then he noticed Asriel. "O-oh. Hello there."
"D-Dad, it's me! Asriel!" he called.
Asgore stared at him as tears welled up in his eyes.
Then he ran over and hugged Asriel. "Oh, my son… it's alright… everything's going to be alright…"
But Asriel couldn't feel anything.
He felt numb.
After a moment, Asgore pulled back. "What happened? How are you…"
"I don't know…" Asriel said. "I just… woke up here. And I was like this."
"Hm… strange…" Asgore seemed to think for a moment. "Perhaps Alphys might know something?"
"Alphys?"
"Ah. She's the, er, new royal scientist." Asgore shifted so he was on his knees. "A… lot has changed."
"...how long has it been?" Asriel asked.
"I'm not sure exactly, but… around a hundred years."
Asgore must not have noticed Asriel's reaction of ice running up the spine he didn't have anymore, because he stood. "Would you… like some tea?"
"Yes. I think so." Asriel followed Asgore into the house.
The house was… different. Different and wrong. It didn't feel like home. It felt like an abandoned prison. Looking down the hall, Asriel could see one of the rooms was boarded up. Hadn't that room been…? "Er, what kind of tea would you like?" Asgore asked.
"Why is mom's room boarded up?" Asriel asked.
Asgore winced. "She, erm… Toriel… left."
" Left? " Asriel asked. "Why?"
"After you and Chara… well, there was a lot of… backlash from monsters. They wanted another war, I wanted to break the barrier… Toriel tried to mediate, tried to keep everyone calm. Until one day, after we'd argued quite badly, I woke up and she'd left."
Asriel stared at the floor numbly. Asgore was continuing- something about being glad he was back- but he couldn't hear. He'd come back, but… he wasn't feeling anything except numbness. His mom had left what sounded like years ago. The world had moved on without him.
Asriel found himself drawn to the other, new doorway beside the throne room. In the week that he'd spent at Asgore's home (it wasn't his home anymore. He'd had to admit it.) he hadn't worked up the courage to go near it.
Until one day, when Asgore was out talking to monsters or whatever he did these days, and Asriel made his way over to the room.
Seven.
Seven coffins, lined up neatly, each with a differently coloured heart and a name on the lid.
Purple. Mauve.
Blue. Everest.
Turquoise. Beetle.
Green. Ridley.
Yellow. Maverick.
Orange. Alex.
And the last one. Open. Red. Chara.
"Asriel?" Asgore's voice called. He must not have left like he'd thought. "Where are- oh." Asgore was standing in the doorway, a resigned expression on his face. "I thought you might see this someday.
"What is this?" Asriel muttered, the numbness giving way to a small feeling of revulsion.
"The barrier could only be broken with seven human SOULs." Asgore said quietly. "So far, we've collected six."
"The red one says Chara."
"It was Chara's coffin. We were going to bury them, but… things happened."
Asriel stared at his father, a realisation dawning on him. "You said we collected them. Who's we?"
"Some were killed by guards." Asgore said defensively. "One took their own life."
"And who killed the rest?"
Asgore's silence said it all. Asriel found himself backing towards the throne room. "Asriel, please!" Asgore pleaded, following him outside. "I had to. I had no choice! It's the only way to break the barrier!"
"I don't care." Asriel said. "I'm leaving."
It's not like I could feel anything anyway. he reassured himself as he travelled through the dirt. I was wasting my time. I would have left anyway.
But dad…
My dad wouldn't have killed those humans.
Alphys finds something she shouldn't.
DISCLAIMER:
1: This is an AU.
2: Characters and author have separate opinions.
3: This is a Fellswap I made. The characters aren't going to be pure in any way, especially the ones that are mad scientists.
CW for verbal abuse, canon typical amalgamate and total lack of a lot of context.
Alphys nervously opened the door to the lab. Hotland sure was, uh, smokey these days. "Undyne?" she called nervously.
Faintly, she heard Undyne shouting from the second floor of the lab. Alphys made her way over to the lift, heading down. Hopefully she was okay. Mettaton had just disappeared and all that. "Undyne?" she called again as the lift doors opened.
"Come on, WORK!" Undyne's gravelly voice screamed from a room down the hallway. A strange, unsettling slashing noise rang through the air, followed by what sounded like a million voices screaming in pain. "U-Undyne?" Alphys called nervously.
"STOP BEING SO DAMN STUBBORN!" Undyne yelled, the same slash and scream echoing down the corridor.
"NO ONE WOULD MISS YOU!"
Slash. Scream.
"NO ONE REMEMBERS YOU!"
Slash. Scream.
"NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU!"
Slash. Scream.
"YOU SHOULD ALREADY BE DEAD!"
Slash. Scream.
"SO FUCKING DIE!"
The last slash seemed harder than the rest, the cries of agony more subdued and resigned, more like whimpers. Undyne screamed a wordless scream, as crashes started to fill the air.
Alphys reluctantly, slowly walked over to the door.
Undyne had already flipped a table and punched several fist-shaped craters in the wall. She was still beating the hell out of the walls, as a… something slithered fearfully in a corner. Alphys's eyes drifted over to the shapeless pile of grey sludge.
No… not shapeless.
Canine. With a gaping hole where it's face should be. The whimpers overlapping as if multiple creatures were speaking at once.
"What is that?!" Alphys screamed.
Undyne turned, her hair and eyes wild. A spear appeared in her hand before suddenly it was sticking out the other side of the wall Alphys stood beside, a small nick on her spikes leaking a small dribble of dust. "Alphys?" Undyne sounded horrified. "You shouldn't be here-"
Alphys was already running.
Chara falls down, and meets someone...
Very
Very interesting.
What are these creatures? Why are they being so nice to them? Why…
Why didn't they die?
They'd fallen hundreds of feet, probably. By all accounts, they should be dead, or at least have a lot worse injuries than a lot of bruises, a mild head injury and a sprained ankle.
But they couldn't muster up enough energy to turn back time. To put themselves back on the mountain.
However, they could get enough energy to get out of the room. Carefully, they snuck along the wall, making sure to avoid the mother monster who seemed to be in the kitchen with the other two. That meant they had an easy exit through the front door.
They bolted (or rather, limped vaguely quickly) through said door, and through the strange purple buildings, hoping no random passerby would notice. After making it to a crossroads, they collapsed against a wall.
Maybe they didn't have enough energy to leave the room.
They knew they had to move, though. There could be more monsters.
As they thought that, a small (ie, shorter than them), insectoid came scuttling around a corner. They'd never particularly like bugs, so a huge one wasn't exactly friend-shaped. They, of course, set off at another incredibly slow pace towards the other branch of the crossroads.
They were so focused on escaping this insect, in fact, that they ran into someone.
A very tall someone, who turned and stared down at them in surprise, saying something that sounded like total gibberish but then also like words somehow? More like words than anyone else's speech ever had? "EXCUSE ME- OH! GOOD GRACIOUS!"
They looked up, feeling their stomach crunch like ice as they processed this new person. Oh god, I found the scary monsters. Because this person was tall, ridiculously tall, with a very long black robe? coat? flowy body?, pale, skeletal hands and a face with two enormous eyes that looked like holes in space and had odd lines tracing down from them.
Instinctually, they flopped backwards and started trying to crawl away, before their ankle made them stop and accept death. "YOU- I- WHO- HOW- ER…" There it was again, those strange not-words. "I APOLOGISE, DID I FRIGHTEN YOU? FOR THAT WAS NOT MY INTENTION. MY GOODNESS, A HUMAN…" That last part sounded almost to himself, and suddenly they processed that someone who said "good gracious" unironically probably wasn't that deadly. Although could still be a threat. Carefully, they unfolded themself, not taking their eyes off of- well, not the monster's eyes , but right next to his eyes. "HOW DID YOU GET HERE?" he asked, crouching down almost cautiously.
"Limped." they replied flatly.
"LIMPED? HM. I WAS NOT AWARE HUMANS OFTEN TRAVELLED LIKE THAT. I WILL MAKE A NOTE OF THAT. BUT I MEANT UNDERGROUND. NOTHING CAN PASS THROUGH THE BARRIER, YES?"
"Uh." they shrugged vaguely. They had no idea what this guy was talking about, but he didn't seem too dangerous. Seemed more… kinda weird.
"AH. OF COURSE. HUMANS WOULD NOT SEND A MAGIC EXPERT INTO A MOUNTAIN OF MONSTERS." He looked them up and down. "ESPECIALLY NOT SUCH A SMALL ONE. AH!" he added before they could take offence (actually it was pretty cool being the short one for once. They'd hated how many growth spurts they'd been having lately- made them feel weird and icky.) "HOW COULD I FORGET MY MANNERS? ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF- I AM DOCTOR WINGDIN GASTER! HOWEVER, I AM MOSTLY KNOWN AS SIMPLY 'DOCTOR' OR 'GASTER'." He held out a hand (it had a hole in the palm. Weird.) which they didn't take. "DO YOU HAVE A NAME, SMALL HUMAN?"
"...Yes." they replied. "I'm Chara."
"CHARA? HM… I BELIEVE THAT IS A WORD IN SOME HUMAN LANGUAGE, YES?"
Chara was very tempted to give the honest truth that they mostly picked it because it was a cool-sounding shortening of their deadname, but they were distracted by their desire to talk about languages. "Yes. It has meanings in several languages. I looked it up. Friend in Irish, joy in Greek, has roots in the Latin cārus meaning beloved and in the Sanskrit ācāra or car, loosely meaning to practice good conduct-" Chara suddenly realised they were talking too much and stopped.
"FASCINATING…" Gaster replied, sounding genuinely interested. "YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY HUMANS HAVE DIFFERENT LANGUAGES. I SUPPOSE IT IS SIMPLY DUE TO THE DEGREES YOU ARE SEPARATED?"
"That makes sense." Chara was careful not to ramble again. They didn't want to annoy this still slightly creepy skeleton in the event that he decided to consume their soul or their pancreas or something. "AH! I GOT DISTRACTED." Gaster said. "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?" Chara shrugged. They weren't sure. "HM. I SUPPOSE TRACKING TIME IS DIFFICULT. DID YOU WALK HERE AFTER FALLING?" Chara considered for a second if they should tell the truth- that a furry monster had carried them to his house and his parents had been suffocatingly nice- at least, his mother was- whenever Chara was actually conscious. "Yes." Chara lied.
"AH. THAT WILL EXPLAIN YOUR LIMP, THEN." Gaster said. "WOULD IT BE STRANGE OF ME TO ASK IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO COME BACK TO MY LAB?" Chara must have shown their confusion, because Gaster clarified. "NOT SO I CAN STUDY YOU, OF COURSE. SO YOU ARE NOT OUT IN THE OPEN. NOT ALL MONSTERS ARE FOND OF HUMANS, ESPECIALLY NOT TO MY DEGREE."
Chara couldn't help but find this strange skeleton completely harmless. Even when they tried to think of all the ways he could kill them, all of them just felt so… implausible. "Alright." they said. v"EXCELLENT!" Gaster replied. "FOLLOW ME!" He began to slither off, the strange black of his body maybe being some sort of coat? Chara still wasn't sure. They began to limp after him anyway. They wanted to ask questions about him- he'd asked them things about humans, they could ask him, right? But maybe asking "is that a coat or part of your body" or "you're a skeleton, how do you talk" were really invasive questions and he'd get offended and Chara really didn't want that, so they followed him in relative silence. Gaster stopped outside a more monochrome building than the ones surrounding it and began to pat around the blackness for something. Chara decided that if he could ask questions, they could. "Is that clothing or part of your body?" they asked.
Gaster turned as if they'd asked him the best question ever. "IT IS A LAB COAT! HOWEVER, I HAVE OUTFITTED IT WITH SOME VERY, VERY INTERESTING FEATURES!" He stuck his hands into it, and they seemed to disappear. It took Chara a moment to work out what he meant.
"Pockets?"
"YES! VERY, VERY LARGE POCKETS!" Gaster continued fumbling. "HOWEVER, IT DOES MAKE FINDING ONE'S KEYS VERY DIFFICULT." He seemed to think of something, before turning to Chara. "YOU ARE NOT PRONE TO MOTION SICKNESS, ARE YOU?"
"No…? Why-?" Before Chara could finish, Gaster placed a hand lightly on their shoulder, and suddenly they were in a large room with various sciency apparatus.
They wondered if, perhaps, they might be prone to motion sickness.
Gaster dusted off his coat a little. "I HOPE YOU DID NOT MIND THE PHYSICAL CONTACT, BUT THE SPACE-ADJUSTMENT IS TOUCH BASED."
"No. It's fine." Chara muttered. "How did you do that?"
They began to wonder if the "WOW, NO ONE'S EVER ASKED ME THIS AND I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL THEM!" face was just the expression Gaster made when anyone ever asked him anything. That did make their many questions far less daunting to ask if he liked answering things, though. "IT IS A FORM OF SKELETON MAGIC! A RARE ABILITY- YOU EITHER HAVE IT OR IT'S QUITE TRICKY TO LEARN. I AM LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE ADEPT AT NON-COMBAT MAGIC, IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF, SO I FIND SUCH THINGS QUITE EASY!"
"You, uh. Really like questions, huh." Chara said.
"YES. IS THAT NOT… USUAL? TO SHARE KNOWLEDGE?"
"No, just… whenever I ask questions, I usually just get told to shut up." Chara muttered.
"WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT? I AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING YOU WISH TO KNOW ABOUT!" Gaster smiled, which looked a little creepy- how could a skull smile? But it reassured Chara. He seemed friendly, and not like he was faking some sort of kindness. "Okay. You're a skeleton. How does that work?" they said after a pause.
"AH! YOU SEE, SKELETONS ARE A RARE FORM OF MONSTER, FOR REASONS THAT ARE CONTESTED AMONG DIFFERENT THEORIES. THE THEORY I PREFER IS THAT SKELETONS ARE CREATED WHEN THE UNIVERSE NEEDS A… A COUNTERWEIGHT OF SORTS. SOMETHING TO BALANCE OUT SOME GREAT POWER, BE IT A NEMESIS OR AN ALLY! UNFORTUNATELY, IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO PROVE ANY THEORY, AS THERE SIMPLY AREN'T MANY SKELETONS, AND VERY FEW EXIST AT THE SAME TIME. IT SEEMS CONSISTENTLY THAT THERE IS ONLY EVER ONE OR TWO SKELETONS IN EXISTENCE…"
"Hm. Interesting." Chara replied. It sounded pretty lonely. To be the only one of your kind. But it wasn't like Chara couldn't relate. "So you're a scientist?"
"THE ROYAL SCIENTIST!" Gaster replied.
"Royal? So there's a king and queen?"
"YES! KING ASGORE AND QUEEN TORIEL, AND THEIR SON, PRINCE ASRIEL!" Gaster said. "THEY ARE VERY KIND. THEY WOULD LIKE YOU!"
"Hm." Chara said, their voice nervously sliding higher. The smaller monster, the boy who'd helped them walk to his house… he'd said his name was…
"IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT, CHARA?" Gaster asked.
"Yes. I am fine." Chara muttered, sharper than they'd intended.
"HAVE… I SAID SOMETHING WRONG?"
"No!" Chara replied quickly. "No, it's fine!"
"OH, GOOD!" Gaster said. "AH, YES. HOST DUTY. WOULD YOU LIKE SOMETHING TO EAT?"
"Yes." Chara replied after a moment to think about it. Gaster hurried off into a side room.
A scientist. Scientists knew things. And Chara had had questions their whole life. And had even more questions now that they'd met some monsters that seemed nice enough. They looked down at their torn up clothes. Should probably find new ones at some point. The dirt caking their jumper was rubbing against their skin. Gaster emerged from what must have been a kitchen with a plastic box of something with a fork sticking out the top. "I HOPE YOU DO NOT MIND LEFTOVERS," he said, setting the box on a table. "BUT I AM NOT EXACTLY A CHEF."
"No, no, it is fine." Chara replied, still standing where he'd teleported them.
"SIT, SIT! YOU ARE A GUEST!" Gaster gestured to the one stool at the table (which went up to Chara's chest) before dragging a second chair over. Chara tentatively sat down, and looked inside the box. It seemed to be perfectly acceptable pasta (Chara quite liked cold pasta. As long as it was still wet, it was edible). "This is leftovers?" they said.
"YES." Gaster replied.
"It seems like a lot of leftovers." they muttered, but picked up a mouthful. "Oh well. So long as it is not pasta its sell-by date."
Gaster stared at them. For a long moment Chara sat awkwardly. "Past. Pasta."
"WHAT IS A 'SELL-BY' DATE?" Gaster asked.
"What?" Chara asked back. Were sell-by dates not a thing for monsters? That wasn't exactly a bad thing (Chara didn't understand sell-by dates. Why did they exist on things like cereal and pasta, which didn't have a date they went mouldy at as long as you kept it dry?) "It is, uh. A thing food has to have. Or it can't be sold. It's supposed to tell you when it's gone mouldy."
"MOULDY?"
"When it goes all weird and green and fuzzy." Chara could tell Gaster had no idea what they were talking about, which was strange. Most food went mouldy (except cereal and pasta if you kept it dry)... Right?
"HM… HOW STRANGE. HUMAN FOOD MUST BE DIFFERENT FROM MONSTER FOOD." Gaster seemed deep in thought for a moment, which Chara used to eat some pasta. It was nice pasta.
"CAN I ASK A POSSIBLY PERSONAL QUESTION?" Gaster asked once Chara had eaten some more of the pasta.
"...okay."
"WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR SOUL? I HEARD HUMANS HAVE DIFFERENT COLOURS."
Chara tensed. They'd been called all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons, but a lot of them revolved around their SOUL. "Why?"
"NO ONE KNOWS. OH, THAT WAS WHY I WANTED TO- I'M JUST INTERESTED."
Chara focused a little, and sent their SOUL out, its crimson glow very apparent. Instantly, Gaster's eyes went from little white pinpricks to flashing with a myriad of colours. "MY GOODNESS! I HAD THOUGHT- BUT OF COURSE- HAVEN'T GOT ENOUGH RECORDS-"
"What? I have a weird SOUL." Chara let their SOUL back into their body, letting out a breath they didn't know they were holding. "So what?"
"DO YOU KNOW WHO THE LAST RECORDED RED-SOULED HUMAN WAS?"
"Yes." Chara remembered learning about him in school. Everyone's eyes coming to rest on them like any minute they might start being a tyrant king. As if.
"YES. THEIR NAME HAS LONG SINCE BEEN LOST TO HISTORY, BUT IT IS THEM WHO LED BANISHMENT AGAINST MONSTERS."
"Wait, them?" Chara asked.
"ACCORDING TO MY RECORDS AND RESEARCH INTO THE SUBJECT, THAT WAS THEIR PREFERRED PRONOUN, YES."
"Just… I've only ever heard him… them… called male."
"HM. STRANGE. ASGORE WAS QUITE SURE WHEN I ASKED. BUT, ANYWAY, TO MY KNOWLEDGE, THERE HAS NOT BEEN A RED SOULED HUMAN SINCE. YOU KNOW, THE LAST SKELETON TO BE BORN BEFORE ME WAS BORN JUST BEFORE THE WAR."
"Oh. Really?"
"YES. HER NAME WAS VERDANA. SHE WAS THE RED SOULED HUMAN'S GREATEST NEMESIS. MANY GREAT BATTLES WERE FOUGHT BETWEEN THEM. OR SO I AM TOLD."
"So you're saying we are nemeses?" Chara asked.
"NOT NECESSARILY. BESIDES, IT IS NOT PROVEN THAT THERE IS ANY CONNECTION BETWEEN SKELETONS AND RED SOULED HUMANS." Gaster leaned back a little. "STILL… IT IS CERTAINLY VERY, VERY INTERESTING."
A chatfic
My bestie wrote one of these a few months ago so. This. This is how most group chats go really.
MINECRAP (Kris if you change it again I swear to the angel) (dumb stupid idiot, Mossybitch (rude), Christmas Lights)
Mossybitch (rude): hey guys
Mossybitch (rude): guys
Mossybitch (rude): guys?
Mossybitch (rude): @everyone
Christmas Lights: Kris it is 2 am whybare you awake?
Christmas Lights: *why are
Mossybitch (rude): oh y'know
Mossybitch (rude): normal reasons.
Christmas Lights: If my mom catches me on my phone, I'm dead, Kris.
Christmas Lights: What do you want?
Mossybitch (rude): new groupchat
Mossybitch (rude): or invite ma bestie to the mc server
Christmas Lights: You have a bestie with Minecraft? I thought we and Azzy were the only ones who played.
Mossybitch (rude): she doesn't actually have a computer but like
Mossybitch (rude): can use azzys puter
Christmas Lights: Who?
Mossybitch (rude): clue
Mossybitch (rude) posted a gif.
Christmas Lights: …Kris what does Among Us twerking have to do with your friend?
Mossybitch (rude): sus
Christmas Lights: Sus?
Christmas Lights: SUSIE?!
Mossybitch (rude): ye susie
Christmas Lights: KRIS NO!
Mossybitch (rude): kris yes
penis (Kris_Krossed_Applesauce, suzyzilla)
Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: hey sussie
Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: sussie
Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: sussie
suzyzilla: ITS FUKING SUSIE KRS
suzyzilla: sup
Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: wanna play minecraft tmorrohr
suzyzilla: dont have a computer dumbass
Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: can use azzys puter
suzyzilla: oh sure ig
Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: k cool holup
MINECRAP (Kris if you change it again I swear to the angel) (dumb stupid idiot, Mossybitch (rude), Christmas Lights)
Christmas Lights: Wait did you change Berdly's username, Kris?
Mossybitch (rude) added suzyzilla.
Christmas Lights: rtE
suzyzilla: fuck does that mean
Mossybitch (rude): is that a rtE in ur pocket or r u just pleased to see me
Mossybitch (rude): noelle
suzyzilla: YAHST WHO TJAT IS
Mossybitch (rude): noelle
suzyzilla: FUSNXUNNHELL
Mossybitch (rude): this is a christian minecraft server no swearing
Mossybitch (rude): noelle
Mossybitch (rude): she died of gay
Mossybitch (rude) changed Christmas Lights's name.
died of gay rip: Kris!
Mossybitch (rude): oh nice ur not dead
Mossybitch (rude) changed died of gay rip's username.
lived of gay: Kris, that's worse!
Mossybitch (rude): n y way wana play minecrap tomorrow
lived of gay: Alright, fine, I'll ping Berdly so he sees this when he wakes up.
lived of gay: @dumb stupid idiot
lived of gay: now can we go to bed?
Mossybitch (rude): ok
Mossybitch (rude) changed the group chat name.
MMINECRAP (Kris if you change it again I swear to the angel) (then swear) (dumb stupid idiot, Mossybitch (rude), lived of gay, suzyzilla)
dumb stupid idiot: What happened here?
lived of gay: Kris.
dumb stupid idiot: I see.
dumb stupid idiot: Wait, did they ad SUSAN?
lived of gay: yeah…
dumb stupid idiot: This server is for the top students only! I'm kicking her.
lived of gay: Berdly, wait, don't.
suzyzilla: 4 Brick Road Hometown
suzyzilla: fucking try it chicken wings
dumb stupid idiot: What are you going to do? Drool at me?
suzyzilla: ill put a fucjjg pipe vomb in ur mailbox
dumb stupid idiot: You don't know how to make a pipe bomb.
lived of gay: This *is* Susie.
Mossybitch (rude): @dumb stupid idiot kick her and i change our names
Mossybitch (rude): to match noelle
dumb stupid idiot: You wouldn't.
Mossybitch (rude): try me
dumb stupid idiot banned suzyzilla.
Mossybitch (rude) changed dumb stupid idiot's name.
Mossybitch (rude) changed Mossybitch (rude)'s name.
Mossygay (gay): much better
gay gay homosexual gay: KRIS CHANGE MY NAME BACK RIGHT NOW
Mossygay (gay): or what
gay gay homosexual gay: I'LL BAN YOU FROM THE MINECRAFT SEVER
Mossygay (gay): then you'll never see your axolotls again
gay gay homosexual gay: …
gay gay homosexual gay: YOU DISNT KILL THEM?
Mossygay (gay): im not a total ashole, gay gay homosexual gay
Mossygay (gay):ill tell you the coords if you unban susie
gay gay homosexual gay: You drive a hard bargain, Kris.
gay gay homosexual gay unbanned suzyzilla.
Mossygay (gay) added suzyzilla.
suzyzilla: wht the fuck happened here
gay gay homosexual gay: Now the coordinates.
Mossygay (gay): just a sec
Mossygay (gay): 69, 4, 20
suzyzilla: lmao
gay gay homosexual gay: KRIS I'M BANNING YOU TOO
lived of gay: Berdly, wait!
suzyzilla: so it is you
lived of gay: Kris's base is at 69 20.
gay gay homosexual gay: WAIT WHAT
Mossygay (gay): yeah it was funny lmao
Mossygay (gay):thats whi im so far away
Mossygay (gay): funny number
gay gay homosexual gay: GET IN CALL WE'RE PLAYING MINECRAFT.
gay gay homosexual gay started a voice call.
Mossygay (gay): wait susie's gotta match
Mossygay (gay) changed suzyzilla's name.
Mossygay (gay): susie just punched me
sussiegay: bitch
Might make a sequel or two to this idk
UPDATE (13th November 2023): I made a sequel
A chatfic, but it's a sequel.
yeah uh i wanted to write a sequel.
cw for one drug mention (they're not using drugs just kris mentions one in passing)
also i didn't do this last time but here's the username guide:
Kris: Mossygay (gay), Kris_Krossed_Applesauce
Noelle: lived of gay, Christmas Lights
Berdly: blazing the dragons
Catti: sisters of purrsy (its a sisters of mercy joke do you get it haaha im hilarious)
Susie (not even mentioned but she's in one of the group chats): sussygay
MMINECRAP (Kris if you change it again I swear to the angel) (then swear) (blazing the dragons, Mossygay (gay), lived of gay, sussygay)
16:39 Mossygay (gay): h
Mossygay (gay): hey
Mossygay (gay): hey beurgly
blazing the dragons: Kris thataas not even close
blazing the dragons: I know you’re a B and C student but that’s basic spelling
Mossygay (gay): ur names a weed joke
Mossygay (gay): anyway uh
blazing the dragons: WAIT NO
Mossygay (gay): want to play fucken uh
Mossygay (gay): bedwars
blazing the dragons: No. I don’t want to play anything today
Mossygay (gay): :((((((((((((((
Mossygay (gay): not even mogus OmO
blazing the dragons: I have homework
lived of gay: No you don’t, Ms. Alphys didn’t give us any homework.
Mossygay (gay): busted
Mossygay (gay): seriously dude you ok
Mossygay (gay): you love mogus
blazing the dragons: what do you care
lived of gay: We’re your friends, Berdly
blazing the dragons: then why’d you DITCH me, your so called “friend” to go have a SLEEPOVER with catti, ON THE DAY *WE* WERE SUPPOSED TO HANG OUT
Mossygay (gay): uh cos she’s catti’s friend too bro people can have more than one friend
Mossygay (gay): for example i was invited B)
lived of gay: Kris, shush (anyway, you said no to the invite).
Mossygay (gay): sorry that was mean
lived of gay: I forgot it was the same day, and by the time I remembered, it was too late, and I didn’t want to disappoint you or Catti.
lived of gay: I’m really sorry, Berdly.
lived of gay: Wait, I have an idea.
Unnamed Chat (sister of purrsy, Christmas Lights)
16:46 Christmas Lights: Hey, could I invite Berdly to the sleepover?
Christmas Lights: Would you mind, I mean?
sister of purrsy: he’s. tolerable.
sister of purrsy: if he is up for. occult activities.
sister of purrsy: and makeup.
Christmas Lights: Thanks, Catti! <3
MMINECRAP (Kris if you change it again I swear to the angel) (then swear) (blazing the dragons, Mossygay (gay), lived of gay, sussygay)
16:49 lived of gay: Berdly, would you like to come to the sleepover?
blazing the dragons: You’re… invitign me?
lived of gay: Yeah, Catti already said she doesn’t mind as long as you’re up for “occult activities and makeup”.
blazing the dragons: … Im agreeing to this so we can hang out.
Mossygay (gay): sure you are.
fnaf rp (discontinued) (Kris_Krossed_Applesauce, Christmas Lights)
10:21 Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: how was the sleepover?
Christmas Lights posted an image.
Christmas Lights: It was great! We played Light As A Feather, Stiff As A Board, and watched scary movies, and did makeup!
Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: berdly had fun?
Christmas Lights: Yeah, he really did.
Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: cool
Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: kinda sad i missed it tbh
Christmas Lights: Really?
Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: yeah i love spooky movies
Christmas Lights: Then you’ll just have to come to the next one!
Kris_Krossed_Applesauce: also berdly looks way better with eyeliner
Christmas Lights: KRIS!
Kris remembers the band they, Asriel, Noelle and Dess used to have when they find an old CD they made, and, filled with nostalgia, starts another one.
I played Night In The Woods, liked the whole band thing (partially because I've wanted to be in a band for many many years and have simply never managed it), and wrote this fic. The songs are, in order of mention, Die Anywhere Else from Night In The Woods, Don't Forget from Deltarune (obviously), Weird Autumn from Night In The Woods, and a thing I came up with lyrics for for the purposes of this fic. The albums mentioned are Rise And Fall, Rage And Grace by The Offspring, The Real Thing by Faith No More and Steal This Album! by System of a Down. And Kris's music interests wouldn't be complete without MCR, Lemon Demon and Tally Hall.
Woah this author's note is kinda long.
Flipping through the CDs under Asriel’s bed, something caught Kris’s eye. It was in a shoddily made paper case, seemingly made of printer paper. They pulled it out and, though the pen on the front was faded (and also it hadn’t been a very good pen), Kris recognised it immediately. Sure enough, the sharpie on the CD inside confirmed it- this was “In The Dark” by De DANKest Band Eva . It would have made them cringe just looking at the name, if not for the fact that it was objectively a hilarious name.
Summer break. Three years ago. Kris and Noelle would have been twelve, Asriel and Dess fifteen or sixteen. They’d been sitting in one of their rooms when suddenly one of them had gone “let’s start a band”. Everyone had agreed because that’s what you do when your friend suggests it, but it had actually worked out. Kris on keyboard, Asriel on vocals and drums (it worked exactly as well as it sounded), Noelle also on vocals and Dess on guitar. They’d written enough songs to make an album after a week, and then they’d recorded it on Asriel’s laptop’s shitty microphone and put it on a CD.
Kris turned around the album to look at the back. How could they possibly have forgotten about some of these songs? Die Anywhere Else , Don’t Forget , Weird Autumn , not to mention all the covers. Most of it was covers, actually. Kris eyed their CD player. The nostalgia… it called to them. They had to listen to it, just to see how it had aged.
Around half an hour later, Kris messaged Noelle.
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: hey
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: guess what i found
Snow_Angel: What did you find?
Snow_Angel: Also, hi, Kris.
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: the
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: ok remember the band me you azzy and dess were in
Snow_Angel: How could I forget “De DANKest Band Eva”?
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: remember that evening you and dess spent at our house because we wanted to record an album and it took a fucking eternity to go on the cd
Snow_Angel: Of course, why?
Snow_Angel: Wait.
Snow_Angel: Did you find it?
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: i found the cd
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: it’s simultaneously aged like milk and like a fine wine
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: it’s so bad and so good
Snow_Angel: You have to let me listen to it.
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: i’d be an asshole if i didn’t. was your band too
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: your vocals were sick
Snow_Angel: Aw, Kris!
Snow_Angel: Azzy was way better than me! I didn’t even play an instrument!
Snow_Angel: Well, at the time.
Snow_Angel: Not well.
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: yea you’re pretty good at bass now
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: also seriously
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: don’t forget was beautiful
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: not even in an ironic funny way
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: just straight up good
Snow_Angel: Oh yeah, that was the one you and I did!
Snow_Angel: Dess and Azzy always looked so impatient when we played it, haha!
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: man
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: i miss de DANKest band eva
Snow_Angel: Me too
At this conveniently placed end to the conversation, Kris closed their laptop and laid on top of their bed. They could hardly believe they’d forgotten about the band. It had only taken one listen, and they could already remember how to play the songs they’d done. It made them so nostalgic (and lonely feeling, seeing as half the band was now MIA) it hurt.
It was at that moment that an absolutely amazing idea hit Kris like an oncoming heavy goods vehicle. They sat bolt upright in bed and opened their laptop again.
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: noelle
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: noelle
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: noelle noelle
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: i just had
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: an amazing idea
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: we do
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: another badn
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: *band
Snow_Angel: Kris, that’s…
Snow_Angel: How would we have a band by ourselves? There’s only two of us!
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: come on we can totally find someone else to play with us
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: someone’s gotta play guitar and drums in this town
Snow_Angel: I don’t know, Kris…
Snow_Angel: Some things are best left behind.
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: no but noelle this’ll be sick and awesome and epic
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: :0
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: it’ll be
Snow_Angel: Don’t say it
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: DANK
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: tell you what
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: if i can find band members by the weekend
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: we do this band and meet at uh
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: your house for our first practice
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: but if i cant
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: uh
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: idk whats a good thing you’d want me to do if i lost
Snow_Angel: Easy
Snow_Angel: Make a PowerPoint about all the evidence pointing against Ice-E.
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: D:
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: noelle
Snow_Angel: Deal?
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: you drive a hard bargain
Kris_Kross_Applesauce: deal
It was this series of events that lead to the conversation Kris and Susie had that day after school. “So…” Kris said as nonchalantly as they could manage. “You play a musical instrument?”
“What kinda question is that to just ask a dude outta nowhere like that?” Susie replied after a double take. “And uh. Not really, no.”
“Not really?” Kris pushed.
“In, like, middle school, my the- my teacher wanted me to be more creative or some shit, so they tried teaching me guitar. Never went that far, I stopped playing.”
“How come?”
“Cause we moved and it sucked anyway! Why?” Susie asked.
“‘Cause, uh, I had an idea.” Kris explained their master plan for emo band extraordinaire (ooh, they had to write that down, that’d make a cool name), cleverly omitting Noelle’s possible involvement with this hypothetical band.
“Huh.” Susie said afterwards. “I dunno. Guitar’s kinda lame.”
“You could drum?” Kris suggested. “That’s a piece of cake. Except to your ears. And the ears of any bystanders.” A neuron suddenly fired in Kris’s brain. “Or, or, or, you could play ELECTRIC guitar.”
Susie looked excited for a split second, before hurriedly trying to mask it. “Where the hell are we gonna get an electric guitar?”
“Noelle’s dad was in a band in high school, he played lead guitar, I think. You can borrow his.”
“Noelle’s dad? Uh, I dunno-”
“Trust me, I got it.” Kris promised. “Meet up at my house this Saturday and I’ll have it all handled. Also if you can, like, make a mixtape or playlist or something of the music you like that’d be cool too.”
“Huh? Why?” Susie asked.
“Because everyone’s music tastes need to be considered when deciding what kind of band you wanna do.” Kris said, realising this had only seemed obvious to them. “Gotta go find a drummer, see ya!”
Unfortunately, by the time Friday had rolled around, Kris still hadn’t found anyone. Everyone either didn’t have time for a band, didn’t really want to join in, or chickened out the moment they heard Susie was gonna be there. All of Kris’s hopes and dreams were dying.
Until their saviour arrived in the form of an emo/goth cat.
“Never played.” Catti said. “But. For Noelle. I’d learn. Plus,” she added. “Someone has to look out for her. Protect her. From Susie.”
“Excellent. Thanks. Noelle’s house, Saturday afternoon.”
SATURDAY AFTERNOON
With Toriel having been told what Kris was doing and that they needed to get a drumkit to Noelle’s house for the first time in three years, Kris waited for Susie to arrive, who Kris didn’t trust to not bail as soon as she knew Noelle was involved, then got into the back of Toriel’s car.
“Where are we going?” Susie asked.
“Don’t worry about it.” Kris replied. “Did you get your playlist?”
“I got all the CDs I own, if that’s what you mean.” Susie said, taking three plastic cases out of her pockets. Kris eyed the covers. Rise And Fall, Rage And Grace . The Real Thing . Steal This Album!.
“Did you get the last one just because it told you to steal it?” Kris asked jokingly.
“Duh- I mean, um, no, absolutely not, bought this with money, legally, by legal means.” Susie avoided Toriel’s eye, even though Toriel wasn’t paying attention to the conversation. “What about you?” Susie asked, changing the subject.
Kris reached into their bag, retrieving The Krispy Mixtape . “Asriel made it for me right before he left. Got a bunch of cool songs. Oh look, we’re here.”
Susie looked out the window. “Why are we at Noelle’s house?”
“I may have omitted the small detail that among this band’s members is the one and only Noelle Holiday.” Kris admitted.
usie made a choking noise. “Are you alright, Susie?” Toriel asked as she got out of the car to help Kris with the drumkit.
“N-Never better, Ms Toriel.” Susie’s mind was a whirlwind. She couldn’t go in there. Noelle didn’t like her. Probably. She hadn’t ASKED, but she didn’t need to! Noelle was all perfect and flawless and good, and Susie was the total opposite of all of that! But Susie couldn’t back out now. That’d be weird. So she shoved all her anxiety as far down as it’d go and grabbed the big middle drum.
Noelle made an even funnier noise than the one Susie had made upon seeing said purple dragon. “Hey, Noelle.” Kris said, completely ignoring this reaction. “Setting up in the room with the piano, right?”
“MHM.” Noelle squeaked. Catti leaned out from behind the door, and gently moved Noelle out of the way so that Toriel, Kris and Susie could get through with the drums.
“Have fun, Kris! Be back by dinnertime!” Toriel said as she drove away.
Kris sat on the piano stool, facing the three other band members. “First things first, most important part of any band, influences.” they said. “So, uh. CD player’s on the floor. Who wants to go first?”
After an awkwardly long pause, Catti raised a hand. “I have. No strong opinion.” she said. “I trust your. Music taste.” She eyed Susie. “Even hers.”
Susie grunted. “Nice, makes that easier.” Kris said. “I got, uh, MCR, obviously, Lemon Demon, Tally Hall, some video game music-”
“Which game?” Noelle asked, shyness momentarily overcome.
“Sonic Adventure 2, of course. Wouldn’t be a well-rounded list of influences without some Crush-40.” Kris replied. “Yeah. That’s me. What ‘bout you, Noelle?”
“I, um, I… er…” Noelle looked down, flushing. “I don’t, um… have any… CDs… But I like, um, Blood Crushers?”
Susie looked up, looking shocked. “Seriously?”
“Um… yes?”
“Me t- uh. Me too. They’re, uh. Pretty cool. Haven’t been able to get their CDs though.” Susie muttered.
“How about your ideal influences, Susie?” Kris asked devilishly.
“Uh. Well. Uh. I, uh. Only have these.” Susie waved her trio of albums. Catti raised an eyebrow. “Faith No More. Not bad.”
Kris held up their very helpful diagram. “And now, for the second most important part of a band! A name! I have some suggestions-”
“Oh no…” Noelle giggled.
“What?” Susie asked, defensive.
“J-Just, uh, um, the, um, last time, um,”
“I think she’s trying to say that the last band I named was called Da DANKest Band Eva.” Kris said. “Which was for COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE REASONS, and not going to happen this time. Anyway,” Kris straightened their piece of notebook paper authoritatively. “Emo Band Extraordinaire.”
“Absolutely not.” chorused everyone in the room.
“Noted.” Kris said dejectedly. “Uh. Yeah that’s it.”
“Well I got nothing.” Susie said.
“Whisqueers.” Catti said, and, after several confused glances were aimed at her, “Whiskers. Queers. Wisqueers.”
“Um, maybe, um…” Noelle took a few deep breaths. “What about, um, The Legend?”
“I. Approve.” Catti said.
“Sounds cool. Sure.” Susie said.
“Nice, in agreement. I declare us The Legend!” Kris said. “Right. Any ideas as to what to play?”
“I kind of, um, want to try some of the older songs we wrote.” Noelle said. “You know. See how they sound with bass and electric guitar.”
“Aight. Go for it.” Kris said.
Noelle started to explain Die Anywhere Else to the other two members when Susie said, “Wait. Who’s singing?”
“I was about to ask.” Catti said.
“Oh. Um.” Noelle looked at Kris for help.
“I guess whoever feels like it.” Kris said haplessly.
“What, so, we switch around?” Susie said.
“...That wasn’t what I meant, but that’s amazing, so uh. That.”
It didn’t take that long before Susie and Catti at least had enough of an idea of the song that they could try playing it. Kris had volunteered vocals, seeing as there wasn’t a piano part at all in the song now (what had been the piano part was now the bass part).
“One, two, three, four,”
“Dust on this tired old street
Mark corners where we used to play
Dust trace our tired old feet
In circles as we pace our time away
I just wanna die anywhere else,
If only I could die anywhere else
So come with me, let's die anywhere else
A-ny-where, just not here.”
“That was… cool.” Susie said quietly once they’d finished.
“Yeah…” Noelle agreed. “Could we, um… try writing some songs at some point too? Only, um, I have some… ideas.”
“Same.” Kris said. “Uh. Same time tomorrow, or next week?”
“Tomorrow!” Susie said enthusiastically. “Uh. If that’s. Not an issue.”
“Not busy.” Catti said.
“Yeah, that’s good for me, too!” Noelle said.
THAT EVENING
Noelle sighed, scribbling out a line. She couldn’t rhyme “too” with “too”! Lyric writing was hard. She tried again, softly playing the bass to herself.
“You’re the dragon, but you’re the knight, too
I can’t help but be scared, but also, entranced with you”
Ooh, that was good.
“I wish I could say a word, but my tongue is stiff and dry
But I fear if I don’t, I might just die
Oh, I don’t know who you are inside
Oh, but I’d like to know if you don’t mind
Dreams are a pretty thing, but you always have to wake
At least that’s what I thought until…”
Hm. What rhymed with wake? Mistake, no. Break, no. Take? Make? Maybe…
“Dreams are a pretty thing, until you open up your eyes
But could we make it real, this dream of mine?”
It sort of rhymed, and it sounded good, and that was all Noelle needed!
Had this idea been silly and cliche from the moment she’d conceived it, several weeks ago? Yes. Could it work? Maybe! Especially now! It just needed another verse, and it’d be ready! For Noelle to totally embarrass herself! And get laughed at! And shoved! And probably laughed at some more! So either way it wasn’t going to go awfully .
Angel, Noelle needed a life.
I was debating really hard when I wrote this who was going to play what instrument. I could really see Susie playing drums instead of electric guitar, because that seems like a really good way to let off aggression, but realised that no good band is without electric guitar and no one else would be able to play. Noelle, I kinda wanted to play something more classical, because I figured her mother would be that kind of parent, but decided bass worked. Kris plays piano in game. And I needed a drummer so I yoinked Catti.
If I remember this fic exists and get motivation, I might even do a sequel. Probably not, though.